21 Comments
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Amran Gowani's avatar

I need to lie down before I can revisit this list. A flood of trauma just enveloped my battered brain.

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Sam Colt's avatar

Glad we can put a pin in this and circle back at a later date.

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Amran Gowani's avatar

Bravo.

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Graham Saxby's avatar

“Look at the bigger picture” -

1.I haven’t a clue what you are talking about because you are being specific. Please use some general waffle that does mean anything so I can understand it.

2. I am pretending that I am better than you because I like to make out that I have some overall, mystical insight that no one else has.

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Sam Colt's avatar

Only bigger picture I wanna look at is when my next vacation is

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Graham Saxby's avatar

“Strong leadership” - A bully, definitely not good leadership. Had a boss once who was assessed as having strong leadership. He thought it meant he was good. He wasn’t, he was just a bully.

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Sam Colt's avatar

Strong, like a dictator

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Graham Saxby's avatar

Definitely

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Bill Southern's avatar

Spot on! “Let’s all stay in our lane” = “Keep your nose out of my project.”

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David Vandervort's avatar

I never saw the kimono one before. It's kind of scary.

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Caz Hart's avatar

Yep. Now explain how business lexicon is universal. It's not even a virus, it seems to travel by osmosis.

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Sam Colt's avatar

A friendly reminder that you must speak in convoluted jargon if you ever want a promotion.

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Michael Marshall Smith's avatar

Perfect. Spot on.

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Barbs Honeycutt's avatar

this is great! SO GREAT in fact that I may or may not have published a series of notebooks with the same vibe (I gifted some to my IT department, a bit passive aggressive, but they get it).

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Sam Colt's avatar

Just a nudge. Could you please leverage your core competencies to fix my MacBook? It is currently engulfed in flames.

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Barbs Honeycutt's avatar

IT crowd just watching it burn, eating popcorn.

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Dee Rambeau's avatar

1000% Sam. Holy shit I’d forgotten how grateful I was to be ten years past this until I choked up my lunch reading your post. 😂😂

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Sam Colt's avatar

Thank you for following up with your kind words. I trust that my post found you well.

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Dee Rambeau's avatar

Nice form response 😂

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Tina Stolberg's avatar

I will take a shot at the last one: "How can we stick a fork in it, if you dumb asses can't stop nuking them!"

I hope you put this on the wall of your cubicle for all to see.

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Sam Colt's avatar

We need to microwave fish in retaliation!

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