When Your Company Sends An Organizational Update
An email from HR
Good morning Mad Men family!
In advance of Tuesday’s All Staff meeting, we wanted to provide more information regarding our organizational restructure. We will aim to answer any and all questions about these updates.
Here is the new organizational flow chart:
Ashton Berkeley now reports to Brianna Wyatt.
Brianna Wyatt now reports to Jar-Jar Binks.
Jar-Jar Binks now reports to Steven Segall, who has also been promoted to VP, Creative Consultation and Administration.
John Wentworth Jr. now reports to John Wentworth Sr.
Huan Tsai’s scope will now be expanded from general payroll to vendor payroll management.
Ashlynn Sherwood is now on client retention.
Client retention is now customer appreciation.
Customer appreciation has now been outsourced to Sri Lanka.
Legal and compliance is now compliance and legal.
Ignorance is strength. War is peace. Freedom is slavery.
Andy Wexler died of a heart attack this morning. We thank him for his 40 years of service and for always uplifting us with his morning puns.
The executive board has been rebranded as the Ascended Council of Asmodeus.
The San Francisco office has been absorbed into the cosmic void.
These changes have been made to maximize work efficiency and output optimization. We can’t wait to see everyone at tomorrow’s all-staff! There will be bagels and parfait!
"Last but not least, we are excited to report that 100% of employees are excited to return to the office 5 days a week!
We're gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Saaaaaaaaaaturdaaaaay."
This is so real, it hurts