28 Comments

It's perhaps the greatest culinary gift Italy gave to North America...

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YOU'RE WELCOME! pizza and mafia *chef's kiss

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author

Amazing what you can accomplish with cheese, bread, and tomato sauce.

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That was fun! Didn't even know that there was a deep dish pizza, and was better off for it. I would, however, say that it is perfectly possible to fuck up pizza to the point that it is objectively bad. It's done all the time, so there is plenty of empirical proof for this.

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I mean, Pizza Pizza (Canadian chain) is the closest I've come to objectively bad pizza, and it's still tolerable when you're blackout drunk. I told my girlfriend/friends, if they ever see me eating it sober, they need to intervene, because I have clearly given up on life.

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Sounds like that really comes VERY close to an objectively bad pizza. I hope you will never been seen eating it sober, and best not blackout drunk either - the long time consequences have not been researched yet.

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Cold pizza for breakfast. Zenith.

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Jun 20Liked by Sam Colt

Just pointing that the pineapple topping haters must not have tried it with jalapeños. If you don’t like it even with jalapeños, then your opinion is worthless anyway.

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author

Seriously! I had a pineapple, jalapeno, pepperoni pizza with garlic and basil and it was incredible.

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This headline image is so spectacular, I might start a fan club for it

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Err... Sir? Where's REAL pizza? you don't want the Italian substack mob all up in here, do you?

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(PS: isn’t New Haven where the Gilmore Girls' family is from?)

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author

Yes, but if I'm being technical, they are from a fictional suburb of New Haven.

(Also I ranked Italian pizza in the top tier)

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Should have seen me going back to the post thinking I missed a key component. Umm Actually you put together italian and new york style pizza. I do enjoy the occasional slice of Sal's but, sadly, they are not the same. If you have to put parmesan on pizza to have it taste better, then it's not good pizza. OMG look at me, increasing the engagement levels on this post and getting all worked up just like you said ;)

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author

I know they’re not the same. I’m saying they’re all equally good/in the same tier. Also I would never soil a Sally’s slice with Parmesan cheese. It is too pure for that.

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Let's just call Chicago pizza "pizza soup" and be done with it. Do you like pizza soup? "Sure, I love it! Gimme more" is my answer, so nobody has to fight about whether it's pizza or not.

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author

Basically tomato soup in a bread bowl

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I was going

to say it should pretty much be that saucy sausage soup in a bread bowl with some cheese but if it’s become a cheese casserole some one may have lost the plot I love a good deep dish pizza particularly from an oven baked iron skillet

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author

As a former Chicago resident, I will only eat deep dish from Pequod's. Giodano's is for the gutter palettes.

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That's me!

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author

Noooooooooo!

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Yes, if tomato soup was really good. But hey, I'm fine leaving it in a separate category from actual pizza. NY style at its best is better than Naples style at its best, in case anyone's curious.

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author

John's on Bleecker is amazing. I really need to try Scar's, Lucali, and L'Industrie.

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Nom miss that place. Have to live out the hardships of consoling myself with Connecticut pizza from Frank Pepe’s or Da Legna. Beats California crust. Not that I have ever met a pizza I didn’t like.

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Da Legna has the best straight cheese pizza I’ve ever had

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I dunno, Sam, I’m a big-time pizza snob, but I can’t argue with most of what you’ve said — except for two things — one: you left out the great experience of making your own from scratch, and two: classic New York and New Haven pizza is coal-fired, not wood-fired. Neapolitan is wood-fired.

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author

Oh, damn, good catch. Just fixed. That was a typo on my part. I shall check myself into pizza jail where I will be waterboarded with Papa John's dipping sauce.

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Cruel and unusual punishment.

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