20 Comments

Me: Haha! Yeah! F*ck those guys.

Also me: (quietly deletes a bunch of tweets railing against Costco for putting Christmas stuff out a month ago).

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In these tales, it’s always uncles who say fucked up shit. In my family, they’re called brothers. All three voted for the orangey insurrectionist rapist in chief. Pass the stuffing 🤦🏼‍♀️

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This line though: "They find themselves walking into a Rite Aid and descending into some Cornholio-style rant about Reese’s cups shaped like Christmas trees"

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I won't decorate for Christmas until after Thanksgiving. We barely decorate for Halloween (just do it for the kids). And I just can't get behind my neighbors who bother with inflatable turkeys on their lawns during the short jaunt between Hallow's Eve and Christ's Mas. Seems like a waste of good air to me.

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Great article! It had my laughing out loud. The soggy bread getting shoved up the turkey’s ass was my favorite observation lol 😂

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Nov 11, 2023Liked by Sam Colt

all the best this Q4 📈

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So you're saying it's okay to cryogenically thaw Mariah Carey each year as early as August?

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deletedNov 11, 2023Liked by Sam Colt
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