Based Tranquility with My Breakfast Sandwich

The McMuffin limited-time sale is just what it used to cost...

@realmcdondals

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Each morning is a dress rehearsal for my inevitable fall into the abyss of eternity. Every breakfast, I eat away, trying to fill the howling void inside, but each meal is consumed and eventually gone, reflecting my own sense of nothingness back to me. I drift closer to the precipice while distracting myself with an office job that doesn’t matter, a girlfriend who makes me feel perpetually inadequate, and an inane ritual of picking out a snazzy outfit that projects an aura of success.

The Bacon ‘N Egg McMuffin is the only thing that’s real, the only solid in a world where everything else liquifies into a simulacrum of someone else’s dreams. After four bites, the haze of my morning gloom disappears and I see only truth. The animal who was used to make the strips of bacon was a proud animal and I wonder if she also was lovin’ it.

Existence is pain, but also… WHERE’S THE FUCKING CHEESE??

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