40 Comments

I’m here for the suntan lines.

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"Oh, shit, the Kenny Powers look?"

"Nah... I was wearing my Apple Vision Pro jerking off to AI Taylor Swift Porn and I fell asleep at the beach."

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You're being simple and shortsighted.

The Apple Vision Pro is a miraculous & eminently practical device than fulfills very real, very human needs. For example: I lost my job, went bankrupt, and had all my furniture repossessed after the copy writing firm gave my job to an LLM bot. (before that I had a successful twenty-year career as a travel agent, but then—well, you know, creative destruction is progress, and progress benefits everyone.) In a less developed age, I'd have no choice but to resign myself to sleeping on a broken-down cardboard box on a hardwood floor. But NOW. Now I can simply put on my Apple Vision Pro—et viola! Chippendale chairs! A velvet-upholstered chaise lounge in the living room! Orchids and potted ficus trees at every window! My cardboard box becomes a cozy futon (even if it still feels like a cardboard box)! Virtual ping-pong games with guests and friends (admittedly kind of low-res guests and friends who may or may not run on Chapt GPT) in my AR-finished basement!

yeah, it's gonna be great. also can i borrow $3500

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I'd lend you the money, but I'm out $10k after buying a house in the Metaverse so I could be virtual neighbors with Snoop Dogg.

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At base level basics: The future is dudes stumbling blindly into traffic, or found starved in their beds with deep grooves on their faces.

That’s it.

Funny how you never see women wearing this dehumanizing shit. That’s a topic for your next post.

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"Funny how you never see women wearing this dehumanizing shit."

Based on my rigorous scientific research that I have conducted on Based American Patriot News dot RU, I can confidently attribute this phenomenon to VR porn.

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I wrote on this yesterday too, and thought a random snippet for Casey Neistat's review said it all.

"This feels like a little glimpse into the future of what computing could be like down the road… why’s everyone staring at me? Do I look as ridiculous as those people make me feel like I look?”

Says it all really.

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lol yes there is not a ridiculous way you can wear these

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Brilliantly said. Did you see the video of that dude wearing Vision Pro at an NBA game? Pure douche.

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No but that sounds like a terrible time. Next evolution of filming an entire concert on your phone I guess

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Bro, dare I say you lack vision?

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I cannot see into the future. I don't want to see the future.

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But the future will see into you -- via the Apple Vision Pro 2, available soon for only $4,500.

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Just strip away my eyelids and inundate me with spam emails. This is the way.

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Why buy ADHD? Lots of people have it for free.

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Yeah, but what if your ADHD can be projected onto a wall?? Innovation!

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What an amazing resolution on these pass throughs of real world!

You know what's even better resolution? YOUR EYES...LOOKING AT THINGS!

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Yeah, but can your eyes check your emails on their own?

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I don’t have one but have similar concerns about the utility. And getting disoriented and falling and concussing. I do have a Quest 2 and love so much about it (except the weight and need to buy a head strap that doesn’t feel like a torture device. I produce real-time live music concerts in the Bigscreen app if you’d like to join us. Tuesdays at 7:30pm ET. It’s the closest thing to being at a live music venue without leaving your couch.

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All I can think about hearing about these is the Simon Stålenhag book The Electric State and the duckbill VR headsets that turned California into a quiet dystopian hell.

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We will soon all achieve the capitalistic hive mind of being pod people endlessly watching Netflix and sucking Soylent and mushed up insects out of a paper straw.

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Digital dissociation/reality dissociation will become one of the foremost psychiatric disorders of our age once this technology is more practically miniaturized.

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Screens are already killing us. I can't imagine growing up in a world where this is all I know.

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It’s a shame that they are just so goddamn awesome looking. I mean, who wouldn’t want to look like a Minion. I see lawsuits o’ plenty though. How many scuba divers will drown with these on. How many of these “skiers” will die being killed off of the slopes.

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Gotta weed out the nerds somehow.

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I would have still rated this article if it had ended after the subtitle.

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Had to channel that pathos as quickly as possible. Clickbait-and-switch.

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Speaking of video games (and malevolent tech bros) there’s no way this kind of thing takes off until it’s the size of the Focus in Horizon Zero Dawn.

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Goggles won't improve anyone's productivity. 🤣

People with visual impairments already have periferal vision problems for free. That's a large chuck of the market already self selecting out of the market.

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Ah who needs peripheral vision when you can have the red bubble notification incinerated into your irises?

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If only the strap-on could make people as funny as you, then Apple would have something! All this useless innovation is the result of young tech geeks growing up in a world of "better, newer, faster, more" and having to prove their usefulness in an industry that can't exist without outdoing itself. Every single one of them lives just so one day they too can say "look ma, I'm a billionaire now." They are like spiders caught in a web hoping to make a kill.

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Yeah, all this innovation is just taking minor inconveniences and making them more convenient. Meanwhile, the prices of homes, education, groceries, and healthcare keep going up. Is this really progress?

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