The God-Emperor Is Back
Donald Trump's greatest hits, a man both hilarious and grotesque
Donald Trump is officially running for president again, and while none of this is particularly good, or even an indication of a culture that is “doing even acceptably well,” it doesn’t mean that this isn’t funny. Trump’s presence in America could be described as a harrowing and vile and dizzying, reeking toxic wreckage that has left everyone involved worse off for the experience. It’s still hilarious, maybe not hilarious in the way we might choose to laugh, but indulging in this spectacle is one of those things that doesn’t quite qualify as a choice. It’s being served to us by a media that is addicted to arson and conflict anyway, so we may as well tune into the cast of howling ghouls that have made Mar-a-Lago their spiritual and perhaps literal home.
His announcement was very low energy. Even Jeb Bush is thinking, “Do you need a Red Bull?" And “Ron DeSanctimonious” is his weakest nickname; roughly 10% of GOP primary voters even know what that word means. Rhonda Santis is right there! It implies he’s feminine and weak in a way that his base will understand, but has maximum deniability (“what’s so bad about being a woman?”). Since it’s a perfect homonym, his supporters won’t unhear it anytime it’s blathered.
He was a top-tier shitposter in 280 characters, a mix of internet brain-rot and low-IQ swag. The 800-word ape-rants he’s been posting lately, however, are boring and they give me a headache.
Trump is slipping in his vile entertainment value. His initial Twitter run was like Bob Dylan 1962-1966, a man possessed by the devil of artistry. To post or write at that level takes a toll, unsustainable magic. His Freewheeling was his NYC real estate mogul arc. 2016 may have been his Blood on the Tracks, or Judge Roy Moore his John Wesley Harding. Who knows?
There is a freeform-ness to Trump and neither we, nor he, had a concept of what his character is. Now he's bound by his character. Naturally, that restrains his chaos and makes him more predictable, which is naturally boring. Best case scenario: he still has a “Time Out of Mind” in the tank, one last somewhat respectable showing where he recognizes his limitations and gets by on experience and technique.
Let’s run through the greatest hits.