Anti-Vaxxers Are Guzzling Urine
The latest (de)evolution of lib ownage has taken a yellow turn.
To paraphrase either Vladimir Lenin or Joe Rogan, there are years in which nothing happens, and then weeks in which entire years happen. In one moment, you feel entirely in the flow of time’s linear progression, then the next, something catastrophic happens. You are then displaced in ways literal and figurative, utterly bounced around by that current as it goes wherever it feels like going. When various grim events become progressively more inevitable over the course of these progressively more unbearable years, the familiar spiral into skronking dada nonsense starts to work itself out.
The circumstances that create this fragrant stasis in American culture—a heady cocktail of institutional incompetence, unaccountable plutocratic goonery, and wild idiocy—do not change when presidents do. It is just not in contemporary America’s nature to change, it’s our fundamental nature not to change. This isn’t what you want as an online spectator, or a citizen of this world. But it does give me an obvious topic for blogging fodder, so credit where it’s due.
Christopher Key, AKA the “Vaccine Police,” is turning his pee fetish into a business. Don’t ever tell me America isn’t the land of opportunity. Although his title, “Vaccine Police,” may send a mixed message, as one might presume this authority figure would enforce a vaccine mandate.
The Daily Beast describes this phenomenon as a “new quarter-baked conspiracy theory” for anti-vaxxers to “cure themselves of COVID-19 [by drinking] their own urine.” Of course, “their own” is a specific point of emphasis for these people, for they must only drink the urine that passed through their urethra. You can’t trust second-hand street piss—or even worse, piss developed by Pfizer.
A half-functional bystander would contemplate the exact moment or threshold an anti-vaxxer would have to reach until they finally introspect: Something is deeply wrong here—maybe I should get the vaccine. For their sake, I hope at least some of these steakheaded anti-vaxxers have reexamined every step that led them into a room with a tacky football painting as a bloviating crank dressed in a blazer and a homemade v-neck of Nikola Tesla proclaims, “I drink my own urine!”
This development is yet another signifier of American culture reaching some truly avant-garde levels of public mutancy—the compulsive lib ownage, the empty provocation, the fetid slurry of Twitter brain damage and low-IQ swag.
Real Americans™ never admit defeat and will always double down on their stupidity. So, on a semi-related note, Viagra was trending on Twitter because of a Tucker Carlson segment.
I wonder how fried your brain has to be to hear Tucker sternly rant about Viagra, of all things, as a Covid miracle cure and not simply die from laughter. The people who are ostensibly concerned about injecting an “unknown vaccine” into their bodies are subjecting themselves to any psychotic snake oil just to avoid modern medicine and its benign side effects.
This country owns.
Egads! I thought it was a joke when I first heard about the urine thing. I mean, seriously, are we going backwards with evolution? lol.
However, you say that you hope they come to their senses? I used to be that way as my default nature is pretty empathic in general. However, because their unwillingness to get vaccinated, and all the vulnerable people it puts at risk? I've succumbed to thinking... "Well, what if evolution DID clear out the gunk from mankind? You know...maybe let all those people get the coveted Darwin Award."
Yes, that line of thinking isn't my finest moment. But, honestly, I don't remember being this frustrated at any other time in my life with people's actions and their blatant disregard for the safety of others.
Ok, rant over. And thanks for the blog post. It was really well written and I enjoyed it.
Musk's tunnel is a death trap lol