Bad Day to be a Monday
Ready to rip. Hammering calculations. Locked into meetings.
Fresh out the cubicle and back to the cubicle because it’s game day and we’re out here getting after it! I woke up this morning and told myself “TGIM” before I started rippin’ 100 pushups. Bad day to be a hardwood floor. Gotta hammer these reps, then hammer the calculations. We don’t have to go to work on Monday, we get to go to work on Monday! I spent this weekend walking around my neighborhood Whole Foods pushing shopping carts for the people because it’s about getting after it and working hard. Bad day to be homeless. Last week, the heavy hitters said less meetings, less talking, more spreadsheets … so they banished me to be locked in for a work-from-home Friday. But now I’m walking to work and I’m absolutely on it … ready to rip on this beautiful Monday morning. Let’s have a day, people! No April Foolin’ Around. I’m absolutely LOCKED IN!
I’m going after it all day every day. I ran a 2:56 time at the Boston Marathon and I shit my pants like crazy for the people. Bad day to be my underwear. Second-worst day to be the Boston Marathon. I barely trained. But my dad keeps me humble. He was there at the finish line and he told me, “Nobody cares. Shit harder.” I told him that it’s actually not shit coming down my leg. It’s oil—because I’m a machine. And to everyone making fun of me for shitting my pants, I only have one thing to say: “Okay, it’s a setback… Doesn’t mean I’m comfortable… Doesn’t mean I’m satisfied… But I can choose to have the mindset of I’m gonna have a crazy comeback” Actually, that’s a quote from one of my favorite athletes, Tim Tebow. Let’s get it, people!
If you look at your job as a 9-to-5, you are already behind the 8-ball. No Sunday Scaries, people! I️ only get Friday Scaries because I️ have to go two days without work. Young people are motivated to put in extra work on Sundays and be responsible, which isn’t a quote you’ll find in the mainstream media. Let’s let the heavy hitters know we’re getting after it, day after day. There are felons in maximum security prisons who aren’t as locked in as I am. LET’S GO!
People ask me how I became such a monster influencer overnight. And I say, “I’m not an influencer. I’m just a regular guy getting after it and spreading positivity.” And that’s not a quote from Tim Tebow, it’s a quote from a video I posted a month ago. But I would like to report that I did have an electric first quarter of 2024. I experienced 500x growth this quarter thanks to the key themes of bringing positivity and constant energy. Since my breakout video of that train ride I took to work, I dialed into a low-cost, high-volume strategy of posting selfie videos once a day to ride the momentum and stay engaged in the algorithm. LinkedIn should change its name to LockedIn. I faced an unprecedented amount of negative comments. But I’m gonna keep getting after it. I don’t care if people call me The Beaver of Wall Street or If Microsoft Outlook was a person or The human version of a pizza party instead of a raise or if they say Your face was made for laying people off or This guy reports his birthday money to the government. I leveraged all this hate into rocket fuel to overcome the negativity relentlessly to position my brand in a positive light. So far, I am winning the showdown with the haters and now I have to move on to compete with the heavy hitters.
I am ready to be absolutely locked into meetings today. I learn a ton from presentations and it’s fun to see everyone at the office. When it was 12 AM, my vocal cords were absolutely shredded because it was Game Day all weekend. The heavy hitters don’t want us out late… but they didn’t want us in the office on Saturday and Sunday. Bad day to be room temperature honey and ginger tea. Let’s rally and have a week, people! I’m ready to rock.
Bad day to be a Monday.
Bad day to be a sidewalk.
Bad day to be negativity.
Bad day to be shareholder value.
Bad day to be a quarterly report.
Bad day to not hold yourself accountable.
Bad day to be a 50-bag of cocaine.
Bad day to be a spreadsheet, good day to spread cheeks.
The heavy hitters aren’t ready. MONDAY NEVER STOOD A CHANCE!
Oh, that’s weird… Why did I just get invited to an 8:45 meeting with HR?
Tuesday is over there nervous sweating when it sees how hard you are Mondaying this Monday.
😂😂