I'm so quirky and unique

This post contains lethal doses of sarcasm if read irresponsibly.

Artwork by @bubblepunk

---

Does anyone else hate Obama and corporate art and NFTs and Phoebe Bridgers and SNL? I’m also just SO sick of woke culture!! UGH, is it only me who has these profound insights into such very important matters??

And also, just to point this out, but Diet Coke, cold-pressed juice, and cigarettes are the perfect breakfast—don’t @ me you weird neckbeard incel Chick-fil-A-loving weirdos! Back in my Williamsburg days, I used to eat porridge and I poured coffee in it because it saves time and it tastes fine. The people who bullied me for it now drink oat milk. I hate them all.

You say Euphoria, I say Succession.

You say Ted Lasso, I say The Sopranos.

You say J.K. Rowling, I say Houellebecq.

You say Taylor Swift, I say Cocteau Twins.

You say kombucha, I say FUCK OFF!!!

I just went on a 10-minute walk around my neighborhood to pad my Fitbit stats. Here are some pictures to prove that I am NOT addicted to the internet.

For those who are offended, I WILL NOT apologize for my very esoteric and free-thinking personality. Irony is for cowards.

Too cringe to live, too based to die!! 😎🤙

And now all the no-name jealous haters storm into my comment section and come off as fake mean to me. And I’m like, “Oh yeah, they’re all basic IRL, no one cares about their opinion.” Except sometimes, I do.

---