How about a Stanley Cup Coffee Jug?
Underinspired? Overcaffeinate!
Coffee is good when it’s good, and sometimes even more potent when it’s bad, and maybe especially when you’re on your sixth cup of the day, which makes it more concerning whenever you’re running out of it at an alarming rate. This is normal weekday stuff, but it’s upsetting nonetheless. There are busybodies at fake email jobs whose caffeine buzz is dying out, and most who have indulged in a cup of joe predict this trajectory is inevitable, to the point where people crash out around 3 PM every day. It was with this unsettling and incipient crisis in mind that I decided to lock into my entrepreneurial skills and disrupt some industries.
If you’re like me, you’re a bit of a coffee lover and you also enjoy being motivated by your water bottle. What if these were combined to make a Stanley Cup-sized coffee jug? I have manufactured a half-gallon container of positive vibes that will keep you inspired and twitchy focused throughout the workday.
Its functionality means all you’ll have to do is fill it up with coffee and consume at the pace of the following messages.
7 AM: Let’s fucking go!
9 AM: You don’t have to go to work… In this economy, you should thank your boss every day and volunteer to work weekends forever.
11 AM: Another cup! You’re doing great!
1 PM: Post-lunch jolt!
3 PM: Feeling a little jittery…
5 PM: Chest feels weird… Way too much coffee…
7 PM: Zyns are for pussies. Embrace the ulcer!
9 PM: AAAHHHHHHH!!!
11 PM: You’re about to enter a different dimension!
For just four easy payments of $9.99, you can have a productive and fun day. What are you waiting for?
I just fill my fake stanley with coffee and leave people guessing. Is it water? is it coffee? is it alcohol? who knows!!
Sam adjust your price point comparably sized insulated mugs of terror can fetch more once you get them in the hands of the right influencers. And really aren’t you an influencer of sorts? Don’t sell your genius short.