Here's What I'm Listening To Right Now
Broadening my musical palette to reflect my current mood.
Whenever I needed an escape from the airless prison of contemporary life, I would tune into wary and despairing music to drift into a headspace where I could find solace in ambient dread. Albums like turn-of-the-millennium Radiohead were my go-to jams. While their catalog is canonical and extremely rich in Very Important Work, Thom Yorke sings like he just dipped his big toe in a tub of hot water, and I realized that channeling my millennial anxieties into affecting nerd rock was a less-than-ideal way to optimize my daily productivity. I began to feel that there was more urgent and adventuresome music to be discovered, so I started listening to this hardcore screamo band from 2009. This music was produced at a time in American history when people still felt bad or worried, but they weren’t really sure what they felt bad or worried about; like there was this awareness that society was “coming down with something” at some level, but it wasn’t clear what yet, or how sick things were going to get.
The loud, high-energy chaos of this direct point-a/point-b punk music matches exactly what’s going on in my brain at all times. It rips in the way that fast, sludgy guitar songs always rip. But I don’t have an outlet to release this tension publicly, so I just listen in silence. So up in my head, it’s just “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH,” but externally it’s, “Yeah, I can have that pitch deck ready by Monday.”
Anyway, I don’t really like my job. I think I need a new one. Every time I get five minutes back from a meeting, I spend those precious, fleeting moments on LinkedIn sending randos my resume and portfolio in hopes that they will grab a digital coffee, but ultimately, I don’t know what I need. But I do know that I’m late for a client meeting that I probably won’t even speak at. I’m not even allowed to look at them…
*pops in headphones and starts headbanging on my way to the boardroom*
In case you are wondering, I’m listening to Alexisonfire.
I find myself listening to 'sudden lights' by Aija as my go-to spreadsheet music (that would be on repeat for hours and hours). No screaming per se, but a nice little melody for my pivot-tabled despair.
Sucks being stuck in a job you don't like. Me? I'm partial to driving guitars like Lenny...and retirement.