Today is Friday, which means free bagels and cold-pressed juices for the entire office. There’s something surreal about this feeling. Perhaps it was the prolonged WFH, or the magnetism of an unfamiliar human contact. It all feels so exhilarating just to intermingle with my coworkers again.
These types of pre-9 AM interactions can set the tone for the rest of the day. Your mood is contagious and can spread from greeting to greeting, meeting to meeting—sort of like the coronavirus.
Some people opt for cheering others up with epic water cooler zingers like “... and that’s like O.J. teaching anger management!” or “Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Cuz they’d crack each other up!” Some reach for the relentless positivity vibe by leaving each other inspirational post-it notes on people’s desks. The more energetic among us are shamelessly jamming out to the new Lorde album.
I’ll do my best to influence the office mood, but I’m just one man. What difference could I possibly make?
“Hey, everyone! I refuse to get vaccinated because I saw an article from America Freedom News Corp dot RU that was shared on Facebook, and it said the 5G transmitters implanted inside you are magnetic, and if you walk by streetlights or bike racks, your arm will be immediately yanked in and stuck to them. You’re all cucked by the libtard establishment.”
The congenial atmosphere soon gives way to a more perplexed and flummoxed silence. The crowd around the kitchen island slowly dissipates. This may not have been the best move in terms of navigating office politics, but it gives me a clear opening to the lox spread. My everything bagel pops out of the toaster, and to my surprise, I receive an email from HR.