POV: When You Get a Promotion Without a Raise

You get paid in appreciation!

Artwork by @the_real_meep

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Hey rockstar! I’ll cut straight to the chase. You absolutely crushed it this year. You logged in the hours, gave a 110% effort, hustled day-in and day-out, and put in the sweat equity. And the results speak for themselves. Client was happy with your deliverables. Your team drove over $50 million in revenue, increased brand awareness by 150%, and improved brand health by over 2,000%!! We hit all of our KPIs and established new benchmarks of success.

You rose above some chaotic moments that resulted in you working weekends, you working holidays, you working during your mom’s funeral, you working on your wedding anniversary, you working during your kid’s talent show, you working throughout your friend’s bachelor weekend, and recording an average of 63.5 billable hours per week. Impressive stuff. And you kept a positive attitude throughout.

We appreciate the effort and dedication you have given to our family, and we want to let you know that your contributions are noticed. That’s why I’m excited to give you a promotion from Associate SaaS Marketer to Senior SaaS Marketing Manager!

And don’t worry, we considered that you would be looking for a raise, which is totally fair given inflation. As you know, right now, that’s actually reserved for Senior-Level Executives, so it’s not really within the scope of the position.

But this job is actually about so much more than financial compensation. It’s about the leadership experience and the time you’ll spend being more client-facing. And you’ll be spearheading internal communications and taking on more project management roles.

We’re a family here, so we did get you something special. I know you love tech, so here’s a $100 Apple gift card. That’s almost enough to get a pair of AirPods!

Anyways, it’s 5:30, so why don’t you get out there and celebrate? Tomorrow, I’ll see you at 8:00 AM sharp.”

*projectile vomits with rage*

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