Crypto Commercials Are Ageing Impressively Well
I look back fondly at all the money I could've lost.
The camera pans across the Roman Colleseium as sunbeams reflect off the structure.
Epic orchestral music fades in while Matt Damon provides a voiceover.
Matt Damon: “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
Jump cut to raw footage of the Moon Landing and Neil Armstrong planting the American flag.
Matt Damon: “Neil Armstrong didn’t walk on the moon because he thought it would be cute.”
Cutaway to a close-up of a few paddles rowing in unison, the splash of water faintly audible in the background. Then a J-cut to George Washington standing at the bow, one leg bent and on the edge, as he stares confidently into the distance.
Matt Damon: “What would’ve happened if George Washington had never tried to cross the Delaware?”
Hard cut to a bunch of Chinese peasants laying down bricks in the early phases of building the Great Wall of China. The sun is beating down on them, and they are visibly sweating and in pain.
Matt Damon: “What would’ve happened if they quit working on the Great Wall of China after two days?”
Transition to Allied troops running through enemy fire and explosions across the Normandy beach, clearly derivative of the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan.
Matt Damon: “Allied troops didn’t storm the beaches of Normandy because they wanted to.”
Hard cut to Matt Damon in a leather bomber jacket walking alongside the Grand Canyon.
Matt Damon: “The innovators, the leaders, the visionaries—they face our greatest challenges head-on, and trek forward. They aren’t inspired by what’s convenient, but by what will propel humanity to greater heights.”
As Matt Damon holds his smartphone screen so it faces the camera, the camera Zooms in close enough so the screen’s contents are visible
Matt Damon: “Introducing cryptoXchange.com—the only crypto exchange platform where you can trade assets like WhopperCoin, $Cat, and SpankChain.”
The cryptoXchange logo appears at the bottom-center of the shot, and beneath is the tagline, “Embracing innovation and progress.”
“Matt Damon: It’s time to be a trailblazer.”
I don't know if your being sarcastic... in case you are... I had many friends become crypto spastics.
I try to redirect them to buying gold and land. They now don't talk about crypto anymore... I just chill on my land with my gold.
I still like asking " how does an electric money based on actually nothing work?
I will never be smart enough to get it.
AHAH totally. Please make a List of BROS not To TRUST.