Coming Up With High-deas

This post contains lethal doses of sarcasm if read irresponsibly.

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*Some point in the late-1980s*

Damnit, this idea is garbage, I think to myself. No one would ever put a cardboard sleeve around their coffee cup—they’re unnecessary. I lean back in my office chair and take several rips of my mini bong to get out of my own head and rummage through some backup concepts before the big VC pitch next month.

“Dude, Vampire Capital called! They want to push our meeting up to this afternoon! We have to get to Midtown in an hour!” my friend screams into my office in excitement. I’m fucking blitzed out of my skull with no ideas.

Everything after was all a blur, and now I’m in front of a room full of dour and unimpressed investors. I scramble to come up with something, anything. Improvisation has always been somewhat of a strong suit.

“Uh. Um. Well… What if we took water, and put it in a portable plastic bottle?”

The room is silent. The investors look around at each other, befuddled and flabbergasted.

“This is literally the stupidest idea I have ever heard,” one of them asserted. “Who would ever buy that? Are you high?”

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