... As God Intended!
This post contains lethal doses of sarcasm if read irresponsibly.
The Lord God summoned streams from the earth which watered the whole surface of the ground of this barren planet. All kinds of trees suddenly grew from the ground—trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food—and all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky soon joined. This is the Garden of Eden, and in the middle were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and he was soon named Adam and tasked to tend to this garden. The Lord God determined that the man needed a suitable helper so He put Adam in a deep sleep. While Adam was in his peaceful slumber, the Lord God took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. They stood before a world full of bliss and possibilities, the only responsibility is to serve and give back what they take from the Garden of Eden. Adam stood before the Lord God and asked, “You have created a magnificent realm for us to tame and cultivate into something prosperous and bountiful. But why are we here? Is there some greater purpose to this?”
“Yes,” the Lord God thundered. “In 2,000 or so years, there will be a late-capitalist society, brimming with what their economy calls ‘jobs.’ There will be endless amounts of telemarketers, regional sales managers, and people doing derivative swaps.”
The man Adam inquired as to why and the Lord God answered, “I may be your omnipotent creator, but I cannot even fathom their rationale. The jobs are to pay the bills. I check in every year or so to see who will finally be the one to start nuclear Armageddon. I have kept a man named Henry Kissinger alive for a 100 years and I’m still waiting for his redemption arc.”